Ascending, Do Not Disturb Chapter 157 “Extra – Uncle Salted Fish Tells A Story”

Chapter 156 | Table of Contents | Glossary | Chapter 158

This chapter has been brought to you by me, and Adnana.

Chapter 157: Extra – Uncle Salted Fish Tells A Story

After the evil lord of the evil cultivator world died, the evil cultivators all grew quiet and didn’t dare to appear again.

Some storytellers earned a lot of money by narrating in teahouses and restaurants how the ten major sects battled the evil cultivator lord. They spoke of great dangers and miraculous actions. Spirit Master Zhong Xi and Celestial Kong Hou became reincarnations of immortals that came down to rescue the people. Many people thought that when the two reached fulfillment in their merit, they would return to the heavenly palace and become an immortal couple to be admired.

Uncle Salted Fish fanned away the flies in the room with his tattered fan. He looked up at the burning sun and closed his shop doors to return to his little courtyard. When he reached the courtyard door, he saw the two young people standing there. He turned his head and walked away in disdain.

“Uncle, Uncle.” Kong Hou appeared in front of Uncle with a smile. “It’s so hot today. I brought fresh spirit fruits. They’ll be perfect to eat with some sugar and ice.”

“Speak—what do you want?” Uncle Salted Fish looked at the corner of his clothing that was being pulled. He had no temper left. He pulled his sleeve out of Kong Hou’s hand and pushed open the gates to let the two into his room.

The sun was bright and hot but the courtyard was cool. The parts of the courtyard where there had been flowers and grass had been dug up for a large pool filled with water. The pool had no other beings in it and looked empty.

The three sat down by a stone table. Kong Hou took out three bowls of fruit ice and gave one to Uncle Salted Fish.

“You two have no other place where to go?” Uncle held the bowl and crunched down on the ice. “You come here to visit me each year.”

Kong Hou did not argue. She smiled and shared the delicious food in her storage ring. People like Uncle Salted Fish had more honest bodies than tongues.

“This pool is so empty. Why don’t you raise a few fish?” Kong Hou saw the water was clear to the bottom and it made her feel as though she wanted to jump in and swim.

“No.” Uncle ate Kong Hou’s food. “I sell dried fish—I cannot raise live fish.” This was his professional honor.

“Oh.” Kong Hou moved her gaze away with slight pity. “Today, there is a food festival. Let’s go eat delicious food together.”

Uncle looked at Kong Hou silently.

“My treat.” Kong Hou hurriedly added.

“Let’s go.” Uncle Salted Fish was very satisfied with Kong Hou’s perceptiveness.

As food friends, Kong Hou and Uncle Salted Fish were very skilled at tasting delicious food. At times like this, Huan Zhong’s biggest use was to help pay for Kong Hou and Uncle Salted Fish.

To attract visitors from all over the cultivation world, Harmonious City would hold a food festival each year. Every year at this time, Harmonious City would be exceptionally busy and the city would be full of people from other places.

Some flying sword messengers would carry one or two ordinary people on their swords when they delivered parcels in order to make extra money on the side. If ordinary people could afford it, they could also just carry people and no parcels.

There would be a way to make money anywhere there were people. For Harmonious City in these few days, there were many people, flying talismans, and even flying sword messengers. The inns in the city, and all the places in people’s houses where people could lodge, were filled. Some of the sects on good terms with Splendid Cloud Sect even used the excuse of discussing the path to come to Splendid Cloud Sect to stay.

Kong Hou and the other two roamed the streets idly until nighttime and then sat down in a teahouse. To avoid causing a ruckus, Kong Hou and Huan Zhong put on similar masks that covered the upper halves of their faces. Fortunately, there were many men and women on the food street that wore masks. The two of them were not unusual.

The teahouse was very busy. The storyteller was speaking of cultivation world stories. When he said that the strongest cultivator in the cultivation world was Spirit Master Zhong Xi, someone came out and argued.

“Old Man, you speak nonsense. The most powerful cultivator isn’t Spirit Master Zhong Xi, but Spirit Master Kui Ying.” This man was strong and large in body. He had a curved blade hanging from his belt and he looked ferocious. Kong Hou glanced at this person. His bone age was around sixty or so. His presence was strong and he was an Energy Refinement level five cultivator.

“Who is Spirit Master Kui Ying?” A female cultivator dressed in a girdled yellow dress spoke up. The female cultivator looked adorable and innocent. She was just eighteen years old but had similar cultivation to the man.

The man saw the speaker was a young girl and immediately became energized. “They say that Spirit Master Kui Ying is an earth immortal who failed his ordeal. Back in the past, he separated from his path companion due to irreconcilable differences. Then his path companion passed away, which left a mark on his heart. He was unable to ascend. He has not appeared in the cultivation world for many years. It is normal that young cultivators have never heard of him.”

“If Spirit Master Kui Ying is so powerful, why didn’t he appear when the evil cultivator Jiu Su attacked the cultivation world fifty years ago?” the young woman said in disdain. “He has an empty reputation. He is not as virtuous as Spirit Master Zhong Xi, Celestial Kong Hou and the ten major sects disciples.”

Hearing the young woman speak so, the man grinned and didn’t argue against the young woman. “Miss is correct. This one only speaks of cultivation. Of course Spirit Master Kui Ying cannot compare to Spirit Master Zhong Xi in other aspects.”

“Spirit Master Zhong Xi and Celestial Kong Hou have great affection for each other and respect each other. They are a heavenly match. Spirit Master Kui Ying and his path companion were not together for long in the past before they held a separation ceremony due to differences in feelings. They rescinded their oaths in front of the heavens,” a woman in the corner in black robes said coldly. “A ruthless and faithless man cannot compare to Spirit Master Zhong Xi.”

Kong Hou looked at the black-robed woman. This was the black-robed woman she once encountered when she first started to travel. After so many years, the black-robed woman still dressed in black. However, her anger had faded greatly from her expression. At least, when she disliked some people, she did not attack them.

Sensing someone was looking at her, the black-robed woman looked towards Kong Hou. Her gaze was cold and indifferent like a winter pond that hadn’t formed ice but was still bone-chillingly cold.

Kong Hou smiled at her.

The black-robed woman stilled. Her infamy was well known. Male cultivators did not like her, and female cultivators were not friendly towards her. She felt uneasy when a masked female cultivator suddenly smiled at her. After sitting on the stool for a while, she stood and hurriedly left.

When she was walking out of the teahouse, she couldn’t resist looking back. She saw the male cultivator next to the female cultivator peel a pine nut and feed it to her. The female cultivator said something that caused a warm smile to appear on the male cultivator’s lips.

Once, she had disliked these intimate actions between lovers. This would make her think of that heartless man, and of her stupid past self.

But over time, the hate and discontent of the past slowly faded. She started to understand she had been wrong back then, and the hate-filled her had also been wrong.

“Who said Spirit Master Kui Ying was unfaithful?” Uncle Salted Fish gulped down half of his tea. Kong Hou gaped. “Un-Uncle, the tea is boiling hot…”

“No matter, my body is strong; I do not fear such heat.” Uncle Salted Fish turned and said to Kong Hou, “The young people of the cultivation world nowadays really like listening to rumors. The past events were so long ago. Who knows the truth except those who participated? They come and speak nonsense without knowing the truth. Don’t they fear that Spirit Master Kui Ying will turn them to ash after hearing this?”

“Spirit Master Kui Ying is an earth immortal; he would not be at odds with a junior for a minor matter like this.” Kong Hou waved a hand and said with certainty. “He definitely would not.”

“Tsk.” Uncle Salted Fish drank the rest of his tea. “These juniors can only rely on that.”

“Then, Uncle…” Kong Hou pulled Uncle Salted Fish’s sleeve. “You know what happened back then?”

Facing Kong Hou’s curious and bright eyes, Uncle Salted Fish became silent.

Huan Zhong lifted the kettle and poured water for him. He looked wryly at Uncle Salted Fish. “Uncle has travelled far and wide and must know many things.”

“Tell me, tell me.” Kong Hou pulled her bench towards Uncle Salted Fish, her expression pleading. “Uncle, for our several decades of friendship, tell me what happened then.”

“Fine, I will.” Uncle Salted Fish drank the water that Huan Zhong poured and stood. He said, “Let’s go, I will tell you when we return. It’s too noisy here.”

“All right, all right.” Kong Hou hurriedly stood up. The disciples of Splendid Cloud Sect never rested when pursuing a spectacle.

“Spirit Master Kui Ying’s path companion was called Yun Mei.”

The summer courtyard should have the sound of insects and birds, but Uncle Salted Fish’s courtyard was exceptionally quiet at this time.

“The two knew each other for hundreds of years and became path companions because of their mutual feelings.” Uncle Salted Fish and Kong Hou each held a watermelon. They sat cross-legged on the summer sleeping mats as they spoke of the past.

“But the good times did not last for long. Yun Mei found Spirit Master Kui Ying had another identity.”

Kong Hou’s eyes were wide. She even stopped eating her melon. She felt that there was a great conspiracy here.

“Yun Mei found Spirit Master Kui Ying wasn’t a human, but a dragon. She could not accept that her man was not human and divorced him…”

Kong Hou: “…”

Wasn’t it because of misunderstandings, injuries brought to each other, and then they would never meet again?

“Back then, cultivators were not as tolerant of the yao as they are now. Celestial Yun Mei not being willing to be with Kui Ying wasn’t a hard thing to understand.” Uncle Salted Fish held the other half of the watermelon and spooned out the sweetest part in the middle to shove quickly into his mouth.

Kong Hou saw this and hurriedly put the untouched half of the watermelon into Huan Zhong’s hands. “Uncle, you made up this story to steal the sweetest part?”

“Ha.” Kui Ying looked at Huan Zhong. Huan Zhong silently hid the watermelon behind him. He gritted his teeth. “You asked me, I told you, and you do not believe me. Why are you young ones so difficult?”

“Since Celestial Yun Mei was the one to suggest a divorce, why did Spirit Master Kui Ying fail to ascend later?” Kong Hou snorted. “You lie to me that Spirit Master Kui Ying is a dragon. Why doesn’t all of the cultivation world know of this?”

“Do you think about your question? If the people of the cultivation knew, would Spirit Master Kui Ying manage to live to the time of ascension?” Uncle Salted Fish rolled his eyes. “Maybe Spirit Master Kui Ying doesn’t want to ascend? They all say the immortal world is good, but there have never been true records of the immortal world in the tens of thousands of years of the cultivation world. There are no relatives and friends up there. There might not even be any good food. What’s the use in ascending, then?”

Kong Hou: “…”

He spoke as though it was true. She almost believed it.

Huan Zhong used a wooden spoon to dig out the sweetest meat from the middle of the watermelon and put it to Kong Hou’s lips. Kong Hou swallowed. She shook her head and sighed. “Uncle, you are not good at making up stories. You are less than half of Talented Author.”

Uncle Salted Fish: “…”

“Do you want more?” Huan Zhong asked warmly with a smile.

Kong Hou shook her head. “It’s late, we should return.”

“Go, go, go.” Uncle Salted Fish waved his hand in disdain. “Do not make me make up stories for you next time.”

“See, even you admit you made this up.” Kong Hou giggled. “I’ll find you next time.”

Uncle Salted Fish said, “Do not come. I will not open the door even if you do.

Kong Hou said, “You said this last time as well.”

Uncle Salted Fish: “…”

Huan Zhong used a handkerchief to wipe Kong Hou’s hands and her lips. He pulled her off the mat. “Uncle, rest early. Kong Hou and I will visit you in a month.”

Uncle Salted Fish glanced at Huan Zhong. “Hmph.” But he did not say for them not to come.

The two walked out of Uncle Salted Fish’s courtyard. After walking a while, Kong Hou looked back. A person was standing at the gates. The figure looked like Uncle Salted Fish. She jumped up and waved her hand. “Uncle, I will bring you delicious things next time.”

The figure quickly disappeared through the gates, and then the gates were ruthlessly closed with a bang.

“Uncle is always like this, sharp of tongue but softhearted.” Kong Hou pulled Huan Zhong’s hand. She smelled the scent of roast meat on the streets. “But Uncle is really bad at creating stories. He can’t even fool a five year old.”

“Yes.” Huan Zhong nodded with a smile.

“Such a great story became so dull when Uncle told it.” Kong Hou stopped walking and looked at Huan Zhong.

“What is it?” Huan Zhong also stopped and looked at her.

“I’m tired.” Kong Hou looked pitifully at him.

Huan Zhong laughed. He released Kong Hou’s hand and took a step forward. He bent down and said, “Come up.”

“Huan Zhong, you are great.” She jumped onto Huan Zhong’s back and wrapped her arms around his neck.

The early summer evening, the busy crowds, and the two of them nestled against each other.

“Huan Zhong, do you think Spirit Master Kui Ying is still alive?”

Huan Zhong did not stop walking. “Alive.”

“Then he’s alone, with no sect and no one who knows where he is. Will he be lonely?”

“Maybe he has friends and won’t be lonely.”

“That’s good.” Kong Hou gripped Huan Zhong’s neck. “But I will be with you, together wherever you go.”

“Yes.” Huan Zhong smiled slightly. “Forever.”

“Even if you are not human, I will not turn on you.”

Huan Zhong: “…”

“Thank you?”

“You’re welcome.”

Translator Ramblings: Yeah, here is the grand story of Spirit Master Kui Ying.

Chapter 156 | Table of Contents | Glossary | Chapter 158

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20 thoughts on “Ascending, Do Not Disturb Chapter 157 “Extra – Uncle Salted Fish Tells A Story””

  1. Why am I crying? WHY AM I CRYING?! Ah… My heart’s so confused. I feel both sweet and sour. I’m smiling in one moment and crying in another.

  2. Uncle salted fish in the year 2019 A.D. monster fuckers are out and about so hold on la!

  3. Thanks for the update on the extra. 😊

    Am I reading correctly between the lines that Uncle Salted Fish is Spiriti Master Kui Ying..and a dragon as well? But… can’t say I am really shocked since we knew he wasn’t someone ordinary.

    And not ascending because you are not sure if there is going to be good food and good companion sounds pretty legit to me. 😄😄

    1. That he was spirit master Kui Ying wasn’t known until chapter 156 when he just ignored defense to get a front row seat at the spectacle of Dr. Evil getting killed, him being a dragon was known from the moment they arrived in that small village near the sea to look for dragon blood and he dropped a bottle of fresh dragon blood in a clumsy attempt of pretending it was something he stumbled over when the two lovebirds were rifling through his lair to find some.

      And you missed another cameo. Miss black clothing happens to be the Yun Mei.

      1. I agree with everything except Miss black clothing isn’t Yun Mei. After her ex cultivation partner injured her, she recovered, cultivated a decent amount and killed him in revenge (along with his new partner? don’t remember)

  4. Uncle’s story may have been dull, but it may also have been the truth… Uncle is supposedly Kui Ying after all…

  5. Thank you for the side story update!

    Soooo…. The black robed woman that they met in the early chapter is the ex-path companion of Uncle Salted Fish? Then the rumour HZ said about the black robed woman being cheated by her path companion and her child being killed when she was running away is false? Plus Elder Lin also having a yao bloodline means he is a part dragon??

    Whew, what a ride.

    1. Yao just means monster or spirit. A flower that cultivated to transform into a human is a yao, a dragon can also be considered a yao.

    2. No. They are two completely different person. Uncle is Kui ying/legend/living dragon. While scumbag ex-lover is just nobody.

  6. Then three of them should ascending together.. Bring chef, dress maker, artist, friend,….

  7. My suspicions of uncle being a dragon started when he ‘accidentally’ slipped on a bottle of dragon blood after kong hou decided to respect the (flowers?) In the cave. It was very convenient timing lol.
    I’m also curious about the identity of the book seller! Cuz he called uncle old dragon after the battle so he defs an ancient dude since he knows uncle’s identity

  8. Thabk you for the update. I have gotten too attached to KH and HZ that it feels difficult that this has to end. ADND for me is really special i love the flow of the story and how neatly and meticulously each chapter has been translated. Thank you for your continuous hard work

  9. Ive been reading this book when it was only in its 20s and now I feel sad knowing I’d have to close the tab 🙁 Thank you, sincerely, for translating this lighthearted masterpiece

  10. Is it just me or was this KH way of comforting uncle saltet fish? Feeling sorry for letting him tell his sad past. That’s why she asks HZ if kui Jing is lonely and he comforts her by telling he has friends. That’s them. I got the vibe that they poth did understand his real identity..

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